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Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house

Edited by Dav1dturner

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If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

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“I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad. I take something for it.”

Edited by Dav1dturner

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On 8/6/2017 at 6:29 PM, karthik said:

6620e0ba-559a-4925-805f-9ddd759bb569.png

Amazing!

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I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is , the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

Edited by Dav1dturner

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Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.

  • Haha 1

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I like them david, good way to get the posts count up too.

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On 8/8/2017 at 11:54 PM, Dav1dturner said:

I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is , the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

Clasic

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 Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

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11 hours ago, Dav1dturner said:

 Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

At least remove the white from copy paste :c

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I was just reading through that book "50 Things to do Before You Die" and I was really surprised that none of them was "Shout for help!" ...

 

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

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what did the grape say when it got stepped on?

nothing, it just let out a little wine!

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On 8/11/2017 at 11:42 PM, karthik said:

Walking-To-School-On-Monday-Walking-Home

Same thing for office.

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18 hours ago, gozi said:

what did the grape say when it got stepped on?

nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Top quality jokes in this thread.

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1 hour ago, SpacePineapple said:

Top quality jokes in this thread.

mind numbing man .... 

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Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.

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